Family Feud
by Dude13
Summary: When Frankie has finally suffered enough abuse at the hands of prissy relatives, it's up to a certain duo to offer a little outside help.[Oneshot]


Well, here we go again! Basically the same drill, just another one-shot taking place in my particular series where Mac lives at Foster's, Frankie's his guardian, etc, etc.

Mind you, this particular story isn't like my last few one-shots, that is, silly for the sake of being silly. I just write what ideas pop into my head, and this time this was the one that happened to come up.

Same drill, please read and review!

* * *

"Holy moly, just _look_ at the size of that rock!"

"Is that _real_ diamond?"

"So, when did this happen again?"

The tall, slim brunette smirked triumphantly as she showed off the large diamond adorning her finger to her gushing girlfriends.

"Matt proposed just a few days ago, while we were dining at that brand-new French restaurant downtown."

At this her posse burst into a frenzy of excited squeals and shrieks, much to the annoyance of the other clubgoers at the bar.

"So, you got any plans yet? You going to get a house? New car? Are you thinking of kids at all?" A twig-figured blonde jabbered like a squirrel, barely able to restrain her excitement. The brunette shook with mirth as she took a quick swig of her drink.

"Oh please, Maria, we've just started to plan the wedding! It's going to be a looooong time before we start thinking about any of that. I will tell you all one thing though," she said with a fiendish grin and a wink, "If we do ever plan to have kids….we're definitely going to wait a little longer to do so than certain "others," if you girls catch my drift."

At this her clique immediately erupted into a chorus of snickering as the pretty brunette drew back some of her hair in one hand so as to mimic a ponytail.

"Oh, you are just awful!" One laughed uproariously, almost tumbling off her barstool.

"Hee hee, not _again_!" Another giggled madly, obviously no stranger to the peculiar inside joke. "Ha ha! I _still_ don't believe it!"

"Is it true? Is it true?" the scrawny blonde piped up excitedly. "Is it true _she_ was only _fourteen_ when-"

The brunette grinned from ear-to-ear as she took a quick sip of her drink. "Well, from what I remember, she _was_ a bit of a party girl back in high school. With the way she was going, it was really only a matter of time before-"

_CRASH!_

The horrific clatter of shattering glass suddenly rang out sharply throughout the club. Many of the brunette's surprised gang quickly fixed their glances in the general direction of the commotion's origin.

Standing over the remains of her thrown glass, the lanky redheaded young woman near the end of the bar looked as if she was about to erupt in a volcanic surge of rage and engulf all those present around her. Breathing heavily, teeth gritted so tightly and fiercely she resembled a rabid hound, and face so red it practically blended with her fiery red, shoulder length hair, she glared daggers at the group sitting not too far away from her. Just when it seemed that her piercing stare was about to stab each and every one in the heart and slay them about the spot, she finally broke it off with an angry huff, stuffing an arm into her purse and digging about furiously.

"Lady, are you-" A wary bartender tried to inquire cautiously.

"Keep the change!" the redhead just spat venomously, slamming a few dollars upon the counter and immediately storming off towards the exit, muttering murderously under her breath.

As soon as the ugly spectacle was over, the small group of girlfriends all slowly turned back to their leader, who continued to lead casually against the bar, idly sipping at her drink.

"Hey, wasn't _that _just-" the stringy blonde asked curiously.

The brunette just calmly shook her head with a queer smile as she stood up in her seat. "Excuse me for a sec, girls."

"But-"

The young woman passed them a wink as she headed to the exit.

"Sorry for the delay, but I think it's time for a quick family reunion."

* * *

Red hot rage burning deep inside of her like boiling magma under the earth's crust, Frances "Frankie" Foster darkly muttered a myriad of unrepeatable curses to herself as she stomped through the parking lot, clenching her fists so tightly her nails were about to piece flesh.

"That bitch, that bitch!" she hissed viciously as she dodged around various parked cars. "Miserable, awful, backstabbing harpy! One night! Just _one_ night, that's all I ask for! All I want to do is go out, meet my friends, and _nothing_ else! Why is it that the gates of Hell happen to open up whenever I get some free time during the week, and _she _has to get loose?"

Frankie groaned miserably as she slapped her forehead, launching into a frenzied session of self-reprimand.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! You were almost out, Frankie, you were almost in the clear! You were this close, just _this _close to having one good night out! Everyone else went home, it was getting late, but no-ooo! _You _just had to get one more drink! _You_ just had to stick around a few more minutes, just enough time for the Wicked Witch of the West to show up! _You _just had to-"

"_You_ just had to go smash that glass and cause such a ruckus, didn't you dear? Tut tut, I'm sure that rabbit taught you at least _some _manners. Isn't that right, dear cousin?" an all-too-familiar voice cut in with a tinkling laugh.

Frankie stopped dead in her tracks. Biting fiercely upon her lip, she gazed straight ahead of herself, completely stonefaced.

"Hello, Tessa." She growled with the utmost vehemence in her voice.

The pretty brunette smiled sweetly at the frazzled young woman before her. "Ah, it's so nice and warm tonight, isn't it? And a beautifully clear sky to boot! A good night to go out with some friends, isn't it, Frances?"

"_Frankie_." The redhead corrected her with a hiss, still keeping her stare locked forward. "It's _Frankie._"

At this, Tessa just threw back her head and laughed haughtily. "Oh dearie me, I completely forgot! You still like going by that silly boy's name, don't you?" she sniggered.

Suddenly Frankie found herself struggling to suppress the swift urge to whirl about and sock her cousin squarely in her mouth and demolishing her perfect, milky-white teeth.

"Go away, Tessa." She ordered flatly, clasping on firmly to a quivering fist. "I just want to go _home_."

"Oh, really?" Tessa asked, making her lower lip quiver in mock disappointment. "What a shame! I was hoping you would stay around for a few more minutes and wish your dear cousin a quick congratulations on her engagement. After all, it just may be the closest _you'll_ ever get to such a thing!" she laughed merrily.

"Over my dead body." Frankie replied sharply, still keeping her gaze straight ahead. Smiling wickedly like a crocodile waiting to strike, Tessa let out a whimsy giggle as she stepped in front of her infuriated relative, batting a lock of red hair playfully.

"Oh, come now, do you have to leave so soon? What's wrong, do you have to change your whelp's diaper or something?" the brunette inquired with the sweetest of expressions.

At this Frankie stepped forward and glared furiously at the other young woman, eyes blazing with barely suppressed murderous rage.

"First of all, his name is _Mac_." She snarled fiercely. "Second, you and your whiny little cheerleading squadron all damn well know I didn't get _pregnant_ when I was _fourteen_. So_ stop_ _saying that_." Frankie growled, clenching her fists tightly.

Not even noticing the murderous look she was getting, Tessa giggled as she went on calmly.

"Oh, and it'd be any better if I told them the _truth_?" she asked, twirling another crimson lock of the redhead's hair. Frankie felt like she was about to gag as the overwhelming stench of excessively applied and overpriced perfume assaulted her nostrils.

"Tell me, Frances, now is that really what you want? For me to tell others that while living at my sweet great aunt's house, scrubbing toilets for a living, you actually just decided to adopt some little random kid who lost his mommy?" Tessa went on, looking as harmless as a delicate flower but her words digging in deep like flaming hot knives. "Honestly Frances, are you _really _so desperate for some male company you're willing to sink down to such a level?"

"It's _my_ life, Tessa. Butt out." Frankie ordered in a bitter whisper, trying furiously to withstand the insult's harsh sting.

"And what a lovely one it is!" her cousin giggled merrily. "Out of college, still living at home, doing all the work of a maid, and still possessing enough strength to add that one extra burden onto your life? No wonder you don't have a boyfriend, that would be enough to make anyone content! Oh, if only I could give up my stuffy job at the office to mop floors all day!" she laughed haughtily

"What, the job your daddy gave you?" Frankie snarled. Tessa again only laughed carelessly, further pushing Frankie's already well-worn patience to its very limits.

"Oh, yes, but you know I'd give it all up just to trade places with you, sweet cousin." She joked. "My car, my fiancé, my apartment, I'd willingly drop it all in a moment to life _your_ dream come true for but a day. Sure, your pay is but a fraction of what I make now, it's nearly impossible for you to get a boyfriend, your job experience can only help you if you ever want to become a hotel maid, but no matter! I'm sure you forget about _all _of that when you…you…."

As the slim brunette curved her thin lips into a triumphant smirk, Frankie, knowing exactly where she was going with this, bit down so fiercely upon her own lower lip she tasted blood.

"…My sincerest apologies, but exactly what advantages do you get living as a cleaning lady again?" came the cruel whisper.

However, no intelligible response was issued in reply. Feeling as if she on the verge coarsely erupt in blind murderous fury, Frankie just remained where she stood, trying fervently to use every ounce of strength she had to keep herself from maliciously dismembering her closest relative on the spot. If she uttered so much as a word right now, the girl knew she would instantly lose every bit of self-control, with catastrophic results to follow. With beads of sweat beginning to drip down her blazing crimson features, her lanky frame quivered violently in suppressed rage threatening to explode from within her like a volcano only moments away from eruption. As Frankie struggled to clasp onto a badly shaking fist that was all too willing to leap up on its own and loosen some teeth, Tessa only giggled once more at the sight, as if she was a gawking spectator at a circus slide show.

"Awww, what's the matter? Is my cousin a bit cranky?" she cooed, trying to get a rise out of her enraged relative.

Frankie only responded with a low growl that managed to escape from between her tightly clenched teeth. In her element, Tessa just mockingly leaned in close, smiling from ear to ear.

"That's it Frances, that's it. Punch me, you _know_ you want to. Right here, on the cheek. Or would you prefer to break my nose? Knock out a tooth? It's your choice, cousin." She stated calmly, baiting Frankie for all it was worth. The redhead glared at her silently, burning with rage.

"Come now, it won't take long, I'm sure. Just one little jab, and it'll be all over. That's it, that's all it's going to take! What's wrong, too tired after a long day knee-deep in imaginary filth?" she continued cruelly. "It won't take much energy, I'm sure of that! There's no problem! Only the slight difficulty of explaining this to my dear great-aunt, that rabbit, and the police when they'll all want to know what happened."

"You bitch….you dirty conniving bitch…." Frankie hissed under her breath, knowing very well her situation was hopeless. Her cousin laughed in fiendish delight as she went in for the kill.

"Oh please, I never said _that _would be a big issue, I just said I'd be a little problem of who's story the law will listen to when they'll wish to know what became of our talk. Will they believe moi, just an average girl hanging out with some friends, or _you_, the foul-mouthed, bad-tempered, single-parent who can get a kid but can't even hold onto a man for more than a few weeks?" Tessa simply stated as happily as could be, drawing in closer. "Then again, if they still have a little trouble, then they can always check out your nice little police report, right dear?"

With this most foul of low blows, Frankie's fist twitched a little and rose a few inches into the air, the redhead quickly clasped onto it with a determined grunt of exertion, forcing it back into place.

"No….won't do it….I won't…not gonna…." Frankie whispered defiantly, just barely hanging onto her self-control by a thread. As she saw that victory was hers, Tessa's eyes glowed with a malicious sparkle as she pat the redhead's shoulder condescendingly

"That's right, Frances, you won't." she whispered in malevolent delight. With this, she turned about in one graceful deft movement and flounced her way back into the club. As soon as she had disappeared from view, Frankie quickly lifted up a sleeved arm to wipe furiously at the tears that had begun to streak down her face.

* * *

The redhead groaned wearily as she locked the front door behind her. Well _that _certainly had been no way to end what was supposed to be a nice night out. Sniffling a little, Frankie quickly wiped an eyeball that was threatening to well up again as she remembered the barrage of insults from just ten or so minutes before. Much to her displeasure, it still didn't matter whether she had been going through the same ritual as far back as her memory allowed her; her cousin's words still burned like red-hot pokers, always resulting with ugly scars that lasted for days to come. Muttering ruefully to herself and nursing a badly mangled ego, the young woman threw herself onto the old couch that made its home in the foyer and threw a cushion over her face.

"Why me?" she whispered piteously to herself.

Why her indeed? It certainly didn't seem to be fair at all. Why did her closest blood relative behind her grandmother insist that shattering her cousin's self esteem be her favorite sport? Why did Tessa always have to talk every opportunity that life threw her to show how much better she was than her cousin? Why did she make everything they ever did, from games as toddlers to grades in college into a contest in which she always came out the winner somehow? This especially made little sense to Frankie, seeing that this was no competition that she had joined willingly. Nevertheless, time and time again their paths continued to cross, every one turning out almost exactly the same. Tessa's never-ending supply of cruel slanders would break down her relative in a matter of minutes, and Frankie would find herself moping around the house for the next week or so, not by any free choice of her own.

But what else was there to do? To overcome her cousin's wit and sharp tongue would require a professorship in the English language, and to take any open form of clear revenge on her own family would border on the edge of near impossibility. Doing so would only make true all that Tessa had been lying about for all too long, that she was nothing more than a thuggish tomboy, not good enough to lick the dust off-

Frankie's train of thought was thrown clear off the tracks as her ears suddenly picked up a peculiar noise. Listening intently, the girl quickly was able to distinguish the distinct patter of light footsteps slowly making their way across the foyer floor. She recognized the sound instantaneously, and a weak smile managed its way onto her weary features. Shutting her eyes tightly, Frankie quickly began to murmur incoherently under her breath, as if she was trapped in a bubble of self-pity and oblivious to everyone and everything around her. As the soft footsteps slowly grew louder, the redhead continued her ruse until-

"GOTCHA!" Frankie squealed happily, whirling about onto her stomach and reaching over the arm of the couch in a few deft movements. Immediately her quick action was rewarded with a high-pitched yelp of surprise as her arms came in contact with something warm and squirmy. Clamping tightly onto her quarry, the redhead laughed in triumph as she hefted the wriggling, pajama-clad eight-year-old off the floor and into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I wasn't doing anything bad, I promise!" Mac began to apologize profusely as he wiggled about wildly within her iron grip. His appearance quickly lightening her somber mood, Frankie managed to laugh as she lay back down upon the sofa and plopped the child onto her stomach, eyeing him in a mockingly stern fashion.

"_You _were supposed to be in bed hours ago, mister." She accused jokingly. Mac cringed as he tried to cover up his face in embarrassment.

"I did, Frankie, I did! Honestly, I promise! I went to bed before ten, Mr. Herriman can tell you tomorrow morning! It's just that…um, when I woke up a few minutes ago, I was _really_ thirsty, so-"

"So you went down two flights of stairs to get a drink instead of the bathroom three doors down from your room, is that it?" Frankie asked with a smug grin.

Mac blushed deeply as she saw right through his slapdash excuse. "There's better water down here?" he suggested meekly.

Frankie chuckled as she ruffled his hair reassuringly. "Pal, if you wanted to see if I was home yet, then just say so! Geez, what on earth am I going to do with you?"

The boy just sat perched mutely on her belly, his face now a brilliant crimson.

"Uh…."

"I think it's safe to say next time you can just give me a simple hello when I return instead of pleading for your life." Frankie joked, drawing him close to plant a quick affectionate peck on his forehead. However, despite this show of affection, the child only emitted a low whimper, obviously still very troubled by something.

"Oh, what is it _now_?" the redhead asked in a mix of exasperated concern, drawing him away. "What, did something bad happened while I was gone tonight?"

Mac just glanced back pitifully. "You were really upset when you came in.," he said worriedly.

Frankie groaned and rolled her eyes in exasperation. Sometimes, the boy's mind was a bit _too _sharp for her liking.

"Oh, please don't tell me that you-"

"It was _her_, wasn't it?" Mac whispered unhappily, head and shoulders sagging a little. Rather than become fretted by his distress, Frankie just burst out laughing at the child as she tightened her squeeze on him, well used to this particular ritual.

"Geez, pal, do we have to go through this _every_ time Tessa and I have a fight?" she chuckled.

"What'd she say about me _tonight_?" Mac murmured, resembling a sad puppy.

"All right, here's how it really happened tonight." She began in mock seriousness. "Despite the fact that she didn't convince me the last eight or nine times, tonight was the night she _finally_ made me decide to abandon _you_ to the wolves so _I_ can finally get a date. Pack up your stuff, buddy, you're heading out first thing tomorrow morning."

"Hey, c'mon!" Mac groaned miserably as he wrapped his little arms around her. Frankie flashed him a warm, reassuring smile as she returned the squeeze.

"Lighten up a little! Pal, like I'm_ really_ going to let that harpy order me around? You of all people should know I'd rather take a bath in sulfuric acid before I start letting the succubus order me around."

Mac couldn't help but grin at the comical manner in which she so casually put her situation.

"Acid, Frankie?" he laughed. The young woman smiled back in a sinisterly goofy fashion.

"Personally I'd rather douse Little-Miss-Medusa in barbecue sauce and throw her in aa iron cage with an extreme-o-saur, but I can't afford to be too picky about this, can I?" she joked.

"Oh c'mon, you freak out whenever you almost get burned on the oven, like you're actually going to take a dip in acid." The eight-year-old scoffed, joining in on the joke. Frankie grinned as she kept it up.

"That's right Mac, once again, you've caught me red-handed. What I'm _really_ going to do is put you up for grabs next Adopt-a-Thought Saturday just so I can beg that guy at Starbucks to give me his phone number. Excellent work, Einstein." The redhead giggled, suddenly sitting up a little so she could tickle his belly.

"Hey, quit it!" Mac squealed in laughter, trying to unsuccessfully force her hand away. "I get it, I get it!"

"Oh no, you're right on track here, Mr. Brainiac!" Frankie just chuckled merrily with a fiendish smirk "Just because the bride of Dracula told me so, I'm going to release _you_ into the wild where you can roam free with the squirrels!"

"Acpth! Heeheehee!" Mac tittered, trying to wriggle out of her grasp. "Okay, okay! Haha! Quit it! Quit it!"

"You asked for it, bucko!" the redhead chortled, relinquishing her tickly hold and drawing him close again in a warm hug. Still trying to suppress some leftover laughter, Mac bit down upon his lip as he returned the embrace. For the next few moments, the pair remained as they were, enjoying the calm, darkened atmosphere of the practically empty foyer, lit only by rays of moonlight streaming through the nearby windows.

"Frankie?" Mac finally asked curiously.

"Yeah, Mac?" she replied lazily, settling him back on her belly and resuming her former sprawled position.

"Why does Tessa have to be so mean to you? I mean c'mon, you guys are family." He stated innocently.

"Wrong, pal." The redhead answered flatly, staring up at the ceiling. "You, Bloo, Wilt, Grandma, the bunny, _you _guys are my family. Tessa? Satan just forgot to lock the gates of the underworld by accident one day and _she _happened to get loose."

"You're not answering my question." Mac said stubbornly.

"Mac, out of all honestly, I have no idea." Frankie said with a painful sigh. "That's just who she is. My uncle and aunt made it big in the business world, so she's always had everything she ever wanted, plus she was born with looks, brains, basically she's been given everything there is to make her think she's God's gift to creation."

"That's it?" the eight-year-old inquired, stunned by the simplicity of the reply. Frankie shrugged.

"The bitter truth is hard to swallow, ain't it?" the girl mused. "Tessa's the most arrogant living being on the planet, she takes every chance to get to let everyone know how wonderful she is, and in the end, they all love her for it."

"So where do _you_ fall into all of that?" Mac asked with a grimace. Frankie looked back and pulled a face.

"I just happen to be her favorite target when she wants to let it be known who's so great and who's not. That's all." She answered glumly.

"That's not fair." Mac grumbled, folding his arms in a huff.

"Tell me about it. And most people _still_ treat her like she's a living deity. Ha! If you ask _me_, she'll be nothing more than the goddess of backstabbing and temper tantrums." Frankie spat.

At this, Mac glanced into her eyes curiously. "Temper tantrums?"

Frankie shook her head as she emitted another heavy sigh, reaching up and drawing the boy back into her arms. "Oh man, you think _I_ have a temper problem sometimes? Tessa was raised getting anything she wanted at anytime. Whenever that never quite works out, the results are _not _a pretty sight."

"Really? Her?"

"Oh _please_, setting her off is as easy as finding a pebble in a gravel pit, and watching her kick up a fuss is the same as being on a battlefield. I tell you, it's something you _don't_ want to happen to you." Frankie lectured dutifully.

With that the pair lapsed back into silence for a few moments, Frankie holding Mac and staring absentmindedly out into space while the eight-year-old contemplated this new bit of information furiously in his fertile brain.

"Frankie?" he finally asked as something finally clicked inside his mind.

"Hmmm?"

"Ever thought about….well, y'know…getting back at her somehow?"

For a few seconds the girl just continued to gaze into nothingness, her brain going over this surprise question. Finally, she lifted her head to stare back at the child, a large grin flittering across her features.

"I have tried a few times, to tell the truth." She chuckled, ruffling his hair. "But then again, I'm _always_ open to new ideas…"

* * *

"…I'm not sure whether I wanna do this anymore." Frankie whimpered as she sat herself down upon the mall bench with a few purchases. Mac rolled his eyes as he seated himself next to her.

"Oh c'mon, you want to finally get back at _her_ for once, or don't you?"

"Well, of course, but…" the girl replied anxiously, chewing her lower lip. "…Um…well, the thing is, it's not like Tessa's stupid or anything, she might see through it…and no offense, _you're_ not the one for causing trouble."

Mac grinned confidently. "Yeah, but that's exactly why I got Bl-_hey_!" he called irritably at the azure blob not too far away.

However, his creator's calls fell on deaf ears as Bloo stared intently at his reflection in the metal garbage can.

"Think you're hot stuff? Huh?" he taunted himself fiercely, glaring unblinkingly at his mirrored image. "Do ya? Huh? Listen here, buddy, you're lookin' at the champ of staring contests at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends! If you want to suffer the most humiliating defeat of your life, be my guest, but don't say I never warned ya, you-"

"BLOO!" Mac and Frankie called in unison. Looking back at them, Bloo grumbled as he glanced back to his reflection, which eyed him right back with an equally bitter scowl.

"You got lucky, bub." He growled before scooting back to the others.

"What, what I'd do?" he squeaked indignantly.

Mac just rolled his eyes as he turned back to Frankie.

"Okay, so we all remember our lines and everything, right?"

"Yeah." Frankie replied a bit anxiously.

"Today, a star shall be born!" Bloo proclaimed confidentially, swelling out his little chest. Again, Mac just responded with a groan of exasperation.

"Yeah, right. Okay, so I think we're all set. Just one thing, though. Frankie, are you _sure_ that Tessa's going to be here at the mall today?"

Frankie scoffed. "Ha! Are you kidding me? Little Miss Fancypants always needs to be up to date on the latest fashions, she's here every weekend, _trust_ me."

"Yeah, but where?" Bloo asked. Frankie jabbed a finger at a nearby clothing boutique.

"See that store over there? It sells literally the most expensive clothes in town, all European brand stuff, with things like dresses that cost three times my entire wardrobe. If Tessa's here today, she definitely won't leave without at least spending a good forty-five minutes in th-_oh shoot_!"

The redhead yelped in dismay as she saw the all-too-familiar figure make her way out of the boutique, arms laden with fresh purchases. Immediately Frankie broke out into a panicked sweat as she reached for Mac.

"There she is! There she is!" she whispered nervously. "Mac, what-"

"It's okay, it's okay!" the boy reassured her, patting her hands. Just pretend that you're going through your purse or something, okay? Remember, you gotta look _really_ focused, and you _can't_ look at us until the right time. Got it?"

Frankie nodded dumbly in response. Immediately she fumbled for her purse nearby and began to dig about clumsily through its contents, trying fervently to keep her gaze fixated there until the right time. Meanwhile, Mac and Bloo made there way a few feet from her, flashing each other secretive winks and sly grins.

"Showtime." Bloo chuckled mischievously.

"On my count." Mac whispered, holding up a small rubber ball. "Three, two, one, _go_!"

With this the boy casually bounced the ball towards his imaginary friend, who caught it with ease and bounced it right back. After a few more repeats of this, the duo appeared to be nothing more than two friends at play, enjoying a simple game of bounce-and-catch. However, only after a few seconds, Bloo saw that their bag-laden quarry was walking very closely by.

"Target is in range." He said softly, flinging the ball to his creator. "Permission to fire."

"Fire at will." Mac laughed with a wink, throwing it back. "Go for it."

Bloo grinned, took aim, and launched the plaything. As soon as it bounced right by Mac, the child purposely clumsy grab for it, letting it just barely slip by his fingers.

"Oh no, the ball!" the child cried in faked dismay, immediately darting off after it.

"Hey no, I got it! It's my ball!" Bloo insisted like a bossy toddler, bolting hot on his friend's heels. Snapping fiercely at each other, the pair scrambled around shoppers for the ball, until…

"Hey!" Tessa cried in shock as a small rubber ball bounced between her legs. "What the-"

"LOOK OUT!"

The young woman screamed as the pair smashed into her legs head on like two tiny freight trains. The instant they made contact, she lost her stance completely and was thrown high head over heels, whirling a bit in the air until she landed back hard upon the ground in a shower of her purchases with a dull _thud_.

As a crowd began to form around the scene of the catastrophic crash, Frankie quickly saw her chance and rushed over, taking her place far in the back of the group for now.

What she could see over everyone's heads was not a beautiful sight to behold. Her cousin lay sprawled out upon the ground, face down upon the tile floor. Meanwhile, scattered around her were the numerous purchases she had made that day, so many to count and so widely strewn it was as if a clothing boutique had exploded, spreading its wares everywhere. As the badly disoriented woman groaned and slowly got back to her feet, nearby an eight-year-old child peeled himself from the floor.

"Bloo?" he asked curiously, looking about amongst the wreckage. "Bloo, you here?"

"Got it!" his imaginary friend yelled triumphantly as he popped out from under a leather jacket, a brand-new bikini draped neatly over his head. Grinning happily, he waved the rubber ball wildly in the air.

"See, Mac, here it is! Here…it…"

He quickly trailed off and his enthusiasm rapidly dwindled as he too along with his now-silent creator finally looked back upon Tessa. Now back on stable footing, the young woman just stared dumbly at her far-spread purchases for a few moments, gawking mutely at them with jaw hanging agape as she observed the atrocious results of the catastrophic crash.

Then, as if through a force not know in this world, her face suddenly became instantly awash with a fine shade of enraged scarlet red. Her eyes narrowed, she clenched her teeth, angrily bared her long nails, and turned upon the two miscreants, looking like some avenging demon from some hideous underworld realm.

"LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!" she bellowed in an outraged scream so high-pitched it was but a few tones from shattering the glass windows around her.

Bloo gulped nervously as he scooted to his friend's side.

"Project Super-Devil -Hag is a go." He whispered.

"Start thinking sad thoughts." Mac replied just before they were bombarded with a hail screams.

"JUST WHAT THE _HELL_ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE _DOING_?" Tessa angrily shrieked at the pair at the top of her lungs. As her bellowing reverberated throughout the entire shopping complex, Mac passed Bloo a quick nod and quickly the two hugged each other in mock terror.

"W-we're sorry ma'am!" Mac yelped as pathetically as he could.

"We didn't mean it! We don't mean it!" Bloo whined in addition.

Before they could get any further, the scarlet-faced young woman exploded in fiery rage, letting loose a torrent of bitter haranguing.

"LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS HIDEIOUS MESS YOU'VE MADE!" Tessa screamed, pointing furiously at the heaps of scattered clothing all around her. "YOU CLUMSY LITTLE MONSTERS! WHAT THE HELL? ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE ONE GODDAMN TRIP TO THE MALL, AND YOU TWO GO AND RUIN EVERYTHING! CAN'T A WOMAN BUY A DAMN PAIR OF HIGH HEELS WITHOUT BEING ASSAULTED BY A SNOT-NOSED BRAT AND HIS IMAGINARY SCUMBAG?" she ranted furiously, practically frothing at the mouth in her rage. Not even acknowledging the gasps of horror and yells of protest coming from the crowd around her, she just took a deep breath and launched into another enraged tirade at the quivering pair before her, though whether it was all an act or for real was anyone's guess.

"I hope you guys know what you're doing…." Frankie whispered to herself as her cousin let loose with another eruption.

"…I MEAN MY GOD! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS SACRED! DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU ANY GODDAMN MANNERS, OR DID YOU JUST CRAWL OUT OF A FUCKING SEWAGE PIPE TO MAKE PEOPLE'S LIVES A LIVING HELL? HUH? WELL? She screamed, hands and feet akimbo.

"W-we just wanted our ball back…" Bloo whimpered. Looking as if she was about to blow out her bulging eyeballs, the young woman clamped a hand tightly onto one of the little imaginary friend's blobish appendages and brutally tore him away from Mac.

"YOU WANT YOUR BALL BACK? YOU WANT YOUR GODDAMN BALL BACK?" She bellowed, picking up a nearby gown and waving it furiously in Bloo's face. "WELL I WANT THIS FUCKING GOWN TO BE IN THE SAME DAMN CONDITION I BOUGHT IT IN! DO YOU HAVE _ANY _IDEA HOW FILTHY THE FLOORS ARE HERE? WHY I OUGHT TO-"

"Ouch!" Bloo yelped in pain as he could feel finely manicured nails dig into his skin. "Lemmego! Lemmego!" he cried, tugging frantically.

"Bloo!" Mac cried, instinctively darting forward and latching on to one of Tessa's jacket sleeves. "You leave him alone! Stop it! Stop it!" he cried.

Tessa's face burned a brilliant shade of crimson in her blind rage. "THIS IS A BRAND NEW COAT, YOU BRAT!"

_SLAP!_

The hideous sound of her hand making contact with the child's cheek seemed to echo throughout the entire mall. As onlookers gasped in horror, Frankie, tucked away in the back, didn't know whether she wanted to faint in shock or charge forward and attempt to rip her cousin's arm clean from its socket. Gritting her teeth tightly, she struggled to use every ounce of willpower in her body to remain in place.

"Don't blow it…don't blow it…he knows what he's doing…" she whispered fervently. "He-"

"FRAAAAAAAAANKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The piteous wail rang clearly through the air. Instantly recognizing the signal, Frankie took a deep breath, than hurriedly began to force her way through the crowd.

"What happened? What happened?" she cried in what she prayed was a convincingly horrified manner. "Mac? Mac, is that you? Mac?"

"FRANNNKIEEEEEE!" The cry came again. As the redhead burst through a few more tightly packed onlookers, she rushed upon the scene, much to the shock of her relative.

"F-Frankie?" Tessa gasped, her pallor quickly transforming from furious scarlet to a stunned pale white. "What the-"

Her inquiry went unheard as Frankie swept up the bawling eight-year-old into her arms.

"Mac! Mac! Oh my poor little guy, what have they _done_ to you?" Frankie wailed as heartbreakingly as she could.

Rubbing a sore cheek, the tears streaked down the child's face as he buried his head into her shoulder, though not before flashing her a wink before launching into the performance of the century.

"She hit me! S-she hit me!" he cried, his little body quivering in wracking faked sobs. "The nasty lady hit me!"

"Oh Frankie!" Bloo bawled, his cheeks flooded with tears as he grabbed onto the redhead's leg. "It was awful! W-we just were getting our b-b-ball back, a-and the l-lady…the l-l-lady….s-s-he-" the little imaginary friend "stuttered uncontrollably" in his "inconsolable grief."

As she could feel a few tears well up in her own eyes, Frankie said a quick prayer of thanks, and dropped down on one knee, making sure she had both sobbing little figures wrapped up tightly in her arms.

"My boys! Oh, my poor boys!" she cried, planting a few sloppy kisses on the foreheads for extra mushy effect. "Don't worry, I'm here, I'm here! It's alright! She won't hurt you anymore! I promise!" she said in a trembling tone of voice, throwing in a few harsh sobs of her own.

While the trio put on their miniature drama, the crowd, witnessing the entire thing, slowly transformed from a group of shock bystanders to something bearing more semblance to an angry mob.

"S-she hit a child!" A horrified old woman yelled in dismay.

"What?" Tessa cried, whirling about.

"Lady, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" A balding fellow demanded furiously.

"Hey, hey!" The brunette growled defensively, although that under the hail of angry glares and bitter accusations, her courage was rapidly failing her by the second. "D-didn't you all see what happened? They ran into me! Just look at the mess they-"

Immediately a fierce barrage of enraged objections cut her off.

"That doesn't mean you can hit a little kid!"

"Dear God, what on earth is wrong with you?"

"So if you bump into me, does that give me permission to beat you up?"

Tessa took a hard gulp, pointing nervously with a badly quivering arm at the sobbing trio next to her.

"No, no! P-please, you don't understand! That lady's my cousin, see, a-and-"

This only caused more of an enraged uproar amongst the onlookers.

"Oh, no!"

"She's abusing her own family!"

"You monster!"

"Don't let her hurt me again!" Mac wailed aloud.

"I just wanted was to pick up a few things! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Frankie lamented miserably, the tears now pouring unchecked down her face. "I never should have let you two out of my sight! Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"I wanna go home!" Bloo whimpered, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

Tessa's jaw hung agape in her dumb shock, glancing at them, to the crowd, back to the trio, then back to those who looked as if they were about to pounce upon her any second.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" she yelled, throwing up her arms in exasperation. "I'm telling you all! It wasn't my fault, something seriously wrong has happened here!"

"Yeah, you hit a poor little kid, you witch!" Someone yelled from the back.

"No, that's not it!" Tessa screamed in denial.

"Tell that to the devil while you're burning in hell!" Another furious bystander shouted.

"All right, what happened here?" A stocky security guard ordered in a low baritone, barging his way through the crowd, flanked by four others. "We heard reports of a disturbance.

"Sir, please!" Tessa begged. :It's not like what they say, I-"

"She was beating up that poor girl's kid!" An elderly man shout accusingly, pointing at the slim brunette with his cane, then to the still-sobbing Frankie, Mac and Bloo.

"Oh it was terrible, it was simply terrible!" Frankie bawled. "Oh, my more little Mac! He's going to be scarred for life I know it!"

"Frankie, making the hitting stop! Please, no, not again!" Mac cried, hugging her tightly.

The pitiful sight was more than enough for mall security. Immediately the stocky guard pointed towards the nearby young woman, quivering in fright as all eyes glared upon her.

"Get the scumbag!" he roared.

"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!" Tessa shrieked to the high heavens, as seemingly everyone, both security and shoppers, seemed to converge upon her like a wave of humanity. Howling in blind terror, she shot off down deep into the depths of the wall, the mob hot on her heels and thirsty for justice. In just a matter of seconds they had all cleared the scene, leaving only a young redhead, her little brother, his imaginary friend, and a particularly kind old woman.

"Oh, you poor thing!" she gasped, helping Frankie back to her feet.

"Oh, thank you, ma'am." The girl thanked her gratefully. The elderly lady shook her head resolutely.

"No thanks are needed here, miss. What an awful thing for you to go through! Your cousin, your very own flesh-and-blood of all people! How horrible! Are you going to be alright? Will they be fine?" she fussed frantically.

However, the Good Samaritan was quickly taken aback when all three turned to face her respectfully, each one of them nothing but all smiles.

"We'll be better than you think, miss." Mac answered respectfully with a smirk. "Right, Frankie?"

His older sister however failed to respond. Her eyes were shut tightly as she focused listening intently to the faint sounds of the terrific chase occurring not too far away.

"It's like music to my ears." She whispered contentedly.

* * *

Sprinting furiously, Tessa burst through the doors and out onto the sidewalk. Exhausted from the long and treacherous chase, the girl net over and gasped furiously, tongue lolling out from her mouth as she struggled to regain her breath.

"Nice day for a trio to the mall, ain't it, Tessie?" A very familiar voice piped up from not too far away. Hissing venomously, The brunette glanced up at the lanky redhead sprawled comfortably on a bench not too far away.

"Hi there!" Mac voiced cheerily with a friendly wave.

"Did you enjoy your trip around the mall? Did you bring us any souvenirs?" Bloo sniggered mischievously.

"_YOU_." The girl growled, jabbing at her smirking relative.

"Yes?" Frankie chirped calmly, a relaxed, carefree grin resting upon her features.

"Y-you…you….you…." her cousin struggled to speak, so horrifically enraged she couldn't even get the words out. Still smiling like an idiot, Frankie lifted herself from her seat with ease, tucked her hands into her sweater pockets and casually strode over to the fuming young woman.

"Hey Tess, y'know what?" she asked almost lazily.

Tessa didn't even respond. Glaring daggers, she stared unblinkingly into Frankie's gaze, her eyes burning with a fire that an industrial furnace wouldn't be able to match.

"You know those "advantages" you asked me about last night?" Frankie continued, playfully flicking a chestnut-brown lock with one hand and using another to point to the still-grinning pair back on the bench. "You know, the one about my life as a "cleaning lady," as you so nicely put it? Well you see, I was thinking to myself, "why do I just have to tell her what they are, when I can just _show_ her?" Actions _do _speak louder than words, y'know, and-"

_THWACK! _

Immediately Tessa let fly with a ferocious growl, scoring a direct hit right into the girl's eye with her fist. Mac and Bloo gasped in shock as the caretaker drunkenly stumbled back a few paces, hands thrown up over her face as she squealed in pain.

Tessa let a malicious smirk take form upon her features as she watched the pitiful scene with cruel joy. However, it was quickly wiped clean from her face when Frankie suddenly stopped, removed her hands, and flashed her cousin one of the happiest smiles she had ever seen in her life. The enraged young woman was completely taken aback; it was as if the redhead didn't even notice the brand-new black eye she was sporting.

"What the hell are _you_ smiling about?" Tessa spat furiously.

"Ain't it funny how some things work out?" Came the carefree reply.

"It's not going to be so funny when I permanently wipe that damn smile of your face, bitch." The brunette snarled.

Frankie threw back her head and laughed as she rocked back and forth on her heels. "It kinda _is_, seeing how hard it is to do that while you're being chased."

Tessa cocked her head, utterly confused. "Wait, _what_?"

"She's right actually." Bloo sniggered.

"Location, location." Mac quipped from the bench. As all three then presumed to grin like morons, Tessa growled as she cracked her knuckles.

"I still don't know what the _hell_ you're talking about, but unless you cut that out in the next five seconds, I'm gonna-"

"Hey, _hey_!" A gruff voice suddenly interrupted her.

"Lady, what the _heck_ do you think you're _doing_?" Another added.

Hissing furiously, the brunette whirled about to face the newcomers, obviously in no mood to have her opportunity for payback interrupted. However, the instant she took a glance, all her anger quickly evaporated within moments to be replaced by heart-stopping terror.

"EEEEK!" she shrieked, spotting the two police officers scramble out of the cruiser, conveniently parked right behind her the entire time. "No, no! It's not what you think! It's not what you think!" Oh, God no!" she begged furiously, all the while clumsily backing away.

"Get back here you!" One of the officers, a burly man growled.

"This is not what I had in mind one I wanted to stop for some fried dough!" his partner, a fit-looking policewoman added with a scowl. "We'll show you to beat up on innocent people!"

As soon as she saw them arm themselves with pepper-spray and an electric taser, Tessa screamed as loudly as her lung capacity would enable her, whirling about and sprinting off wildly into the parking lot, zigzagging desperately around cars to escape her pursuers.

"Back-up, we need back-up!" the burly man bellowed as he thundered hard on the heels of the shrieking young woman.

"Yeah, this is officers Kowalski and Wallace, over!" the woman yelled into their cruiser radio. "We have an assault suspect on the run in the mall parking lot! Back-up requested, I repeat, back-up requested!"

As the ridiculous chase scene unfolded before them, Frankie snorted in laughter as she settled herself back in her seat.

"Good eye, pal." She giggled, ruffling Mac's hair. The modest eight-year-old blushed.

"It was nothing, I just saw their car nearby, and…well, we're just doing what we can." He said truthfully, peering past the girl. "Right, Bloo?"

"Oh yeah, look at her go! Woohoo!" Bloo hooted excitedly, not having heard a word his creator said.

"Bloo?" Frankie asked.

"Shhh!" the little creature hushed her urgently. "Shut up, it's just getting' good! Yeah! Yeah! Go chase after her! Yeah, dodge around the van! Whoa! Watch out for the sedan! Oh, man! Did you guys see that? Did ya? The guy just-_OH YES_!" he squealed in delight as two more police cruisers tore into the parking lot, coming to screeching halts and promptly unloading four more officers onto the scene.

"Yeah! Oh yeah! This is awesome! Yeah! Yeah! Lord, I thank thee for thy kindness!" Bloo hollered to the sky, helplessly overstimulated as he threw up his blobby arms high in the air.

"Uh oh." Mac chuckled as he spotted a third police car block the parking lot exit, thus preventing the fugitive from escaping as she tore about wildly, screeching like a banshee. "Frankie, something tells me it's gonna be awhile before we can get home."

Frankie only laughed contentedly as she threw an arm around each of the little figures around her, hugging them close to herself.

"Somehow, Mac, that doesn't really bother me at the moment."

**The End**

* * *

There you go, folks! Just another one-shot for you! Tell me what you think!

Please review!


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